Stargate Atlantis: Heart's Bane
by the morrighan
Summary: The second half of my version of a season six. This is the sixth story.
1. Chapter 1

Stargate Atlantis: Heart's Bane

"John! John!"

John Sheppard smiled at the enthusiastic voice of his friend, but he was really smiling at the woman with him although she hadn't turned or looked over to acknowledge him. He strolled into the physics lab, feeling a lightness in his step that hadn't been there for nearly a month.

Rodney McKay and Moira O'Meara were standing near a console, both wearing headphones that were plugged into a computer. Both were nodding and gesticulating as they spoke rapidly, listening to the same thing. Rodney glanced at the military commander and smiled. "I think we've got it! The language! I think I have isolated the noises on the scans we took to be communications within the ship! Here!" He took off his headphones and offered them.

John sidestepped to Moira who was concentrating, rosy lips pursed together as she was tapping a pencil on a pad of paper. A gasp of surprise escaped her as he lifted one of the headphones to listen, standing so close to her his body brushed along hers. His brow furrowed and he restored the headphone to her ear. "Sounds like someone gargling to me."

Moira smiled and removed the headphones as did Rodney. "We think we have found their language amid all of the other noises from the scans."

"Are you sure? I mean how can you tell that's a language?" he asked, gaze moving from one to the other. He smiled as Moira stepped away from him, just enough to allow space between them. It was a subtle reprimand that John was going to choose to ignore.

"Information theory," Rodney and Moira said at the same time. At John's pained expression Rodney elucidated. "It's a quantification of information using a series of algorithms that can determine if this in fact a language or just random gibberish."

"We can use the computer to ferret out the probabilities and each particular sound or word and it can rank them from the ones used the most to the ones used the least," Moira continued the explanation.

"Once that program runs if the resulting diagram is a forty-five degree slope it proves that information is being transmitted, not just random gibberish but actual words and sentences!" Rodney concluded.

"This program works for all kinds of languages, not just human ones! It has been used to verify that dolphins are in fact speaking to each other and conveying information in their squeaks and calls, and if we could only translate that we could communicate with them to—"

"Whoa, whoa, please!" John cried, holding up his hands as if in surrender. "I don't need science in stereo!"

Rodney rolled his eyes, giving Moira a long suffering expression. "You see?" He turned to the console. "Running the program now. It might take a while as there is no known correlating data base with which it can compare its findings but it will run the program all the same."

"You do realize this language could be anything! If the Homo erectus followed a similar evolutionary path that we did from simple gestures and sounds to a full vocabulary, maybe several could match ours in complexity and diversity!" Moira enthused, but she sobered and eyed the computer. "Of course you'll have to run all this by Simmons and get his—"

"No. This stays here, and only with you, Moira. It goes directly to you and then you come directly to me," John asserted, seeing her worry, the squashing of her enthusiasm at the thought of her boss.

Moira met his gaze. "I can't do that, John, er, Colonel Sheppard," she corrected awkwardly, very aware of Rodney watching them. She moved away to gather a few books and a pad of paper. "Doctor Simmons is my superior and I have to cede all reports and findings to him."

"No, Doctor O'Meara. You are my go-to on this and therefore you will surrender everything to me. Everything."

Moira met his gaze. His voice was low, and suggestions danced in his green eyes that had absolutely nothing to do with science. He licked his lips, a slow, tantalizing motion of his tongue and Moira was transfixed, reliving that passionate kiss they had shared. She tried to say something but words were beyond her as she could hardly believe that this man, the most handsome man she had ever seen was flirting with her. She was silent, quickly looking away and moving round to another console. She wasn't sure if he was teasing her in some cruel game or was being genuine.

John followed after her, intrigued at her aloofness and curious at her tension. He stood behind her, watching as she gathered more papers. "So…doctor…what color are we wearing today?" he asked quietly.

"What? You can very well see what…oh." She turned, nearly bumping into him as he was so close again. She glared at him as he smiled, affirming her suspicion that he wasn't talking about her green t-shirt or her khaki slacks but what was beneath them. "That is none of your business, colonel!" she flared.

He smiled, blocking her from fleeing his scrutiny. "I believe that it is, Moira. Just tell me the color, all right? Unless you're offering another visual demonstration?" He raised a brow, green eyes sparkling with the memory.

Moira was trying not to smile at his outrageous behavior. "You don't need to know that, colonel."

"Oh doctor, I do. I really do need to know that. I can be quite persistent, you know."

"I can be quite stubborn, you know."

"Really? I'd like to tame that stubbornness. And what am I being right now?" he asked, moving again to block her. He smiled at her, waiting. He tilted his head, waiting for the two words he wanted her to say.

She sighed, shoving past him. "Naughty colonel," she teased softly.

John grinned, turning to watch her leave but he schooled his expression as Rodney was watching him, a look of pained realization on his face. "What? I was just…um…"

"You better watch it, John. You're in the city, not on some alien planet, and besides, aren't you dating Ann?"

"Yeah, I was just...it was just some fun, just some harmless teasing, that's all," he explained, shrugging and dismissing the concerns of his friend. "It doesn't mean anything."

"Are you sure about that?" Rodney inquired, his keen gaze having noted the changes in his friend.

John glowered. He didn't answer. He strode out of the physics lab, silent.

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_I knew something was wrong. No, I knew something had changed. I couldn't bring myself to admit it could be over, but something had changed. _ _I knew John had been under a lot of pressure, that he was being affected by the city and wasn't being himself. I knew he was taking on too much and not letting anybody in, not even me. _

_He was uncommunicative and always seemed to be in a bad mood, sulking around the city while he was restricted to the base. He barely talked about whatever he had experienced when he had been unconscious. I couldn't quite believe the things he did say, the way he tried to explain his connection to the city. _

_It felt like he was pulling away from me, from everyone. _

_He hadn't invited me to his room for weeks now, and although still affectionate he didn't seem interested in sex. I missed the intimacy. I missed the feel of him next to me. I missed the warmth of his body. I missed just being with him, but I understood the demands of his job, the burden of command that hung heavily upon him._

_I was probably overreacting. Whatever it is will work itself out, I thought. Then things will get back to normal and we will be together like we were before all of this. We had broken so many rules and regulations to be together that I knew we couldn't just throw it all away, not over a bad patch or some misunderstanding._

_Besides, everyone said we were great together, that we belonged together. Our friends were encouraging and supported us, and turned a blind eye to the rules and regulations that normally would have divided us._

_Everyone said we belonged together._

_Except that John was acting differently now. _

_Something had changed._


	2. Chapter 2

Stargate Atlantis: Heart's Bane2

John stood in the control room, staring at the screen where the two blips were still light years out from Atlantis and still running a parallel course. He frowned. "Still nothing?"

Radek Zelenka shrugged. "Still nothing. It may be another month, perhaps more. I've been thinking that perhaps that second one isn't another ship at all. It could be just a shadow, a reflection our scan is interpreting from all of the solar activity."

"It's a ship," John said quietly. He touched the console. The images brightened but did not become any clearer. "She tells me it's a ship."

"She? Oh. You mean the city?"

"Yes." He freed the console before a stronger connection could be induced. He ignored the skeptical stare of the Czech and moved to another monitor. He tapped a few keys and a grid of the galaxy was displayed for him. "They are moving…but slowly. This area…" He touched the screen where an absence of readings indicated the location of the fuglies. "There's not much out there, though."

"There will be little resistance to them," Radek agreed. "I should go help Rodney. We are still encountering major difficulties opening that alien weapon," he sighed.

John glanced at him. "Just be careful. We need to know exactly what that thing is, and what it can do. And if we can use it against them."

"Of course. If we ever manage to find the opening," Radek remarked with a shrug.

John withdrew his hand as the screen brightened and started to display the planets. He shook his head, as if in silent commune with the city and the screen returned to the darker display. "I need to check on something."

John quickly made his way towards the bio lab. He strode purposefully, swinging his notepad at his side, although there was no need to be in a rush. Moira would be in the city permanently now and would be there for him whenever he needed her, for whatever reason. He smiled, but chided himself. It was enough that she was back in the city now. It was enough that he could consult with her whenever he required. It was enough that they could engage in harmless flirtation. It was enough that he had enjoyed one very passionate kiss.

Or so he kept telling himself.

He entered and moved towards the back where Moira was sitting. Her computer screen was full of genetic spirals and equations and but she was staring at a data pad where images of strange creatures were playing. John neared, staring at the video of what looked like to him to be giant pigs, huge pigs with elongated heads and massive jaws and rows of teeth. "Bacon?"

"What?" Moira nearly jumped and slammed shut the data pad. She looked up to see John watching her, a smile on his handsome face. Uninvited he took the chair next to her. "No! Well, yes, in a manner of speaking. The entelodonts I should be studying."

"Ah. And that?" he pointed to the computer.

She glanced at it. "DNA results from the scant traces we recovered from the Homo erectus species. Simmons wanted them done again because he can't understand that these are a species of human and that they have gray skin." She sighed. "I told him it's clearly a genetic mosaicism but he doesn't think that the—"

"Whoa, easy on the science speak, doctor. Why do they have gray skin? Ah, I know. Environmental adaptation, right?"

She smiled. "Yes, John, but it's more than that." She ignored his pained expression. "Under stress, such as an environmental impact certain regions in the genome could migrate and turn other genes off and on in their new location. Genes in a particular cell can be switched on and off in patterns that differ from that of neighboring cells that would otherwise be identical. This explains the patterns of butterfly wings, for example, or the stripes of a tiger, all environmental adaptations, and the gray skin is yet another example. For all we know their home world is vastly different from ours."

"So you said before, and I agree with you. What I need to know," he said, scooting closer to her as his voice grew quieter, "is their mind set. It looks like they are heading in a pattern that I can't quite predict. They don't think like we do."

"Probably not, but some things should be the same. If they are exploring as well as looking for this, this thing, whatever it is, it would all depend on if they had a clue where to find it."

"Or if they had a way to find it," John mused. "What I can't figure out is what the thing could be. What could have been so valuable or amazing or surprising that the Ancients stole it from them in the first place? The only thing that comes to mind is some kind of new energy source."

"Something better than a ZPM?"

"Yeah. Unless it's a weapon or something. What would the Ancients covet?"

Moira shrugged. "I have no idea. Perhaps you should ask the city."

John tensed, but she was quite serious, not mocking him and he relaxed. "Maybe. We covet what we can't have…at least not right away," he mused, but he didn't seem to be talking in the abstract as his gaze roved over her. He smiled, lounging back in the chair. "So…doctor…care to give me a hint what color you have on today?"

Moira's gaze narrowed. "Don't start that again, colonel. I have research to do."

"So do I…but the suspense is killing me. So…at least give me a hint. Pastel or bright?"

Moira smiled and shook her head. "Don't you have something better to do?"

"No. Come on, Moira…I really wanna know." He licked his lips as his gaze roved over her. "Bet they don't match your shirt, do they, you saucy biologist. Come on!"

"John!" she scolded, laughing at his teasing tone, the look of playful flirtation on his handsome face. "I'm not telling you, colonel, and no, I'm not saying that either. Why don't you run off now and do something, okay?"

"I am doing something," he retorted, sitting up and leaning close. "Just give me a glimpse, all right? Just a quickie, then? Just a quick little peek of that pert little—"

"John!" she elbowed him as he laughed. "Will you cut it out!"

"Then tell me! No, show me, baby, show me what is encasing that pert little ass," he said into her ear, his fingers sliding down her back to give a quick pinch.

"John Sheppard!" she scolded, squirming to her feet. She glared at him and his brazen behavior even while it was exciting. "Go! Get out of my workstation!"

He smiled at her, enjoying the reaction his body was having to her anger, to the fury and the embarrassment in her brown eyes. "No. Not until I get what I came for. And believe me, baby, I'll keep coming until I get it."

"Is that so, Colonel Sheppard? In that case you will never, ever get it," she retorted, voice soft and serious, so stern it was turning him on even more. "Now get that fine, fine ass of yours out of my workstation and run along, would you?"

He slowly moved to his feet, taking his time, giving her a nice, long look at his body as he flexed his arms and stretched his long legs. He stepped closer to her, making her back up into the table. "Is that what you really want, doctor? Or would you prefer that I bend you backwards over this workstation and—"

"In your dreams, Sheppard. Go!" She pushed at him, glaring.

He smiled and sauntered out of the bio lab without another word.

Moira softly swore, embarrassed and aroused and confused all at once. She spied his notepad on the desk and swore again. She snatched it and hastened after him. "Colonel Sheppard? Colonel Sheppard! John!" she called, practically running after him.

John smirked as he turned, watching her rush to him. "Wow…already, Moira? Now who's the impatient one, huh? Here? Or would you prefer it against the wall and I could oh." His gaze moved from her heaving breasts to what she held in one hand.

Moira has shoved the notepad to his chest. He took it. "You forgot this. What is this? A list of the women you have to bother today?"

He chuckled. "Nah…you're the only one on that list, Moira."

"Isn't that just peachy for me then."

"Actually I was going to show you this before you started coming onto me."

"What? I didn't do that! You're the one who is coming on to me with your ridiculous obsession with my…oh, go ahead, laugh all you want, you bastard!"

John laughed, unable to help himself. "There's nothing better than a riled-up biologist. Wow. What are you going to do, Moira? Do I warrant a spanking now, because you certainly do, baby. And hey, I can find out what color you are wearing at the same time. That's multi-tasking."

"John!" she scolded, caught between amusement and ire. She hit his arm. "Cut it out! Either man up and ask me on a date or leave me the hell alone! Well?"

He replied, "I don't think my girlfriend would like that, do you?"

She frowned at him, stepping back from him. "Then leave me the—

He caught her arm, pulling her gently to him. "And until I do find out that particular piece of intel I will most definitely not leave you alone, Moira. But I won't ask you to stop coming onto me because I do quite like that."

"I am not doing that! Is that all it will take for you to leave me alone? Fine!" She stepped closer to him, so close her lips brushed across his cheek and her breath was a sweet whisper on his skin. "Red. Bright, lacy, sheer red." She stepped back from him, glaring. "Now leave me the hell alone!"

He smiled, gaze roving again. He tilted his head as he met her gaze. "Hmm…but what shade of red, doctor?"

Moira made a sound of frustrated ire before whirling and marching back to the bio lab. John's laughter followed her as he stared after her, unaware he was being observed.

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_I came across him in the hallway. He was standing, talking to some woman and whatever he had said hadn't pleased her. They were arguing and I couldn't hear the words. She had stormed away from him and he had just stood there, watching her leave but he didn't seem upset or angered. He was laughing. A sound I had not heard in quite a while._

_He turned and headed for a transporter with a smile on his face and I wondered what had gone on between them. He was swinging a notepad back and forth with almost joyful glee. I had never seen him so carefree and it threw me._

_At least he was smiling. _


	3. Chapter 3

Stargate Atlantis: Heart's Bane3

John was sitting in the cafeteria, eating his dinner. It was a pleasant evening, quiet. For once there was no dire crisis to be solved. There was no imminent danger. John could expect to finish his meal in peace, except for the building frustration that was eating at him, as much as he was eating his food.

The lights flickered above him and he tried to smother his mood from the city.

Ann sat across him, smiling, enjoying her own dinner and talking about something. John wasn't really paying attention. He would nod and smile and grunt from time to time as his gaze wandered around the room, seeking and searching for his target and wondering where the hell she was.

The image of red, lacy, sheer underwear was dancing in his mind and wouldn't go away.

It had haunted him the rest of the day, although he had avoided Moira and tried to keep his concentration on other things. He went over a complete inventory of the armory. He sparred with Ronon Dex in the exercise room. He kept checking on Rodney but so far the physicist hadn't made any progress with the alien weapon. John even had to self-deploy during the day as the erotic possibilities were running wild. He smirked at the memory.

"John?"

John smiled an apology. "Sorry. It's been a long day. I bet the teams aren't too happy about being grounded," he said, but the low snarl in his voice made Ann hesitate before she answered him. He resumed eating, trying to keep the outright desire from his voice, from his body, from his mind. He began to tap one foot on the floor.

Ann nodded, oblivious to his mood. "They hate being stuck here, same as you, but they understand the necessity. I feel sorry for Mr. Woolsey. He had a line of scientists complaining about the recall nearly all day. I wouldn't want to be in his shoes."

"Nor would I," John agreed, but his gaze darted past Ann to finally locate Moira. She was carrying a tray and sat at an empty table. He stared, fascinated as she began to eat some ice cream, her gaze locked on a data pad. He watched her slide the spoon in and out of her mouth, clearly enjoying the dessert. In and out, in and out and he could almost hear her soft, soft murmur of pleasure.

He wondered if she was being deliberately provocative but she wasn't even looking towards him. Somehow that made it even more erotic.

He couldn't explain his increasingly erotic attraction to her. He couldn't explain the sudden surge of jealousy he felt when a man joined her and blocked his view. When she called him John his hands balled into fists but he forced them to relax and open once more.

"John? Did you hear me? They are thinking of an expedition to the mainland."

"Huh?" John met her gaze, saw the concern in her blue eyes and shrugged. "The mainland?"

"Yes." She frowned and moved his half empty beer bottle out of reach, thinking that this was the reason for his inattention. "You had the idea of setting up a secondary defense. We need to find the right location for the maximum effect. Transporting one of those gunnery stations won't be easy and we need to sort out the logistics, plus McKay is saying he could boost the energy drive by a few modifications. Have they made any progress on that alien weapon yet?"

"No." John was frowning at the removal of his beer but a burst of laughter drew his eyes back to the table where Moira sat. The man was standing, gesticulating as he moved across the room and John saw the reason for the laughter. Moira has dropped ice cream onto her shirt. A glob was sliding down the swell of one breast. He watched her trying in vain to wipe at it with several napkins, pulling her shirt out from her body.

He could imagine that cold, cold ice cream sliding down the swell of one breast, turning her t-shirt translucent to reveal that red bra. He could imagine that cold, cold ice cream sliding down her bare, creamy skin to one rosy, hard nipple, to dangle like an offering to be savored.

"John, are you all right?"

John met Ann's gaze, not realizing his groan had been audible. One hand was resting on his thigh, had been sliding up to his lap as his body was reacting. He tried to ignore it, to shove it all down but then the worst thing possible had happened.

Moira had stood. The mess of napkins was in one hand, the data pad in the other. She had briefly looked up to see his stare. The intensity of his gaze was transmitting even across the distance between them. She had stared back at him and smiled. She smiled at him.

A smile that taunted and teased at what he couldn't have.

John swallowed, watching her quickly vacate the cafeteria. No doubt she was going to change her shirt. No doubt she was going to take off her shirt, maybe even the bra.

He stood so abruptly he bumped the table and a groan escaped his lips. "Sorry. Gotta go. There's an itch I just gotta scratch," he said hoarsely. He strode out of the cafeteria.

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_I didn't know what was going on. John was sitting right across from me but he may as well have been on the moon. He wasn't really listening to what I was saying but that wasn't anything new, and he was so charmingly apologetic about it I could forgive him. I moved the beer out of his reach, suspecting that it was the culprit, but he kept looking past me at something._

_Or someone._

_And then suddenly he got up, rising so fast he bumped the table and nearly knocked over my drink. His words didn't make any sense and I could only turn and stare as he left the cafeteria to go do something. I was worried about him. He was awfully preoccupied and tense, so tense. I wondered if he had been connecting to the city again without anyone's knowledge._

_I resolved to find out that evening._

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Moira stood in her room, shaking her head over her clumsiness. She had just pulled off her t-shirt and was wiping at the stain with a damp cloth. She blushed recalling the feel of the cold ice cream on her skin and John's predatory gaze on her. He had been staring at her like a cat staring at a mouse and she had given him a brazen smile to tease and to taunt. She wondered at her audacity, but even more she wondered at his erotic interest in her.

She never thought she would garner his interest, certainly not in that way yet there he was, flirting outrageously with her about her underwear even as he sought scientific information from her. He had given her the most passionate kiss imaginable yet he hadn't followed up on it and seemed to be still dating that major, although Moira wasn't sure.

She wasn't sure of anything anymore.

Only that she longed for his advances even if it was wrong.

There was a noise and she whirled, startled, hair flying around her. She clutched the shirt to her chest. John was standing in her room, his gaze devouring her. She stared, speechless. Not only had she closed the door but she had locked it as well, yet he had gotten past all that with silent efficiency. The door slid shut behind him as he stepped to her, a slow smile forming on his handsome face. It was almost feral.

She was startled, flustered, half-naked and vulnerable, but there was also indignation in her brown eyes that made John's pants nearly jump with eagerness.

Moira stammered but no words came. They were trapped in her throat as she was helpless, reacting to his obvious intentions and incredible sexiness as he appeared both irritated and determined all at once. "John…" she managed to say but it was a breathless squeak.

John advanced. He took hold of the shirt and yanked it out of her arms, tossing it to the floor. His gaze roved over the bra, over the dribbles of ice cream staining the delicate lace and turning the material to a translucent temptation that made his mouth water. "Cherry," he said, referring to the shade of red that had so beguiled him.

It was the pink underneath the fabric that was garnering his most avid attention now.

Moira tried to speak again but words failed her.

John smiled.

He just smiled.


	4. Chapter 4

Stargate Atlantis: Heart's Bane4

John was devouring breakfast. Rodney stared at the quantity of food on his friend's plate. There was enough to rival his own which was unusual in itself. He sat across from the military commander. "Wow. You must be hungry," he needlessly noted.

"Ravenous," John said round a mouthful. He smiled before taking another big bite.

Rodney shrugged and began to eat his food. "Hey, where were you last night? I wanted to go over some schematics with you and Ann was looking for you too. You sort of disappeared and no one could find you. We paged you but you didn't respond. I'm going to run a full spectrum scan of that alien weapon and see if we can find a weakness in it. What were you doing all night?"

"Busy," John replied round a mouthful of eggs.

"Busy? Busy doing what?" Rodney asked round a mouthful of waffles.

"Not what. Who." John grinned after he took a sip of orange juice. He was as boastful as a teenager. Satisfaction thrummed from him like a palpable force.

"Huh? Oh, oh, no! Spare me the details!" Rodney complained with a groan. He sipped some water, still making a face. "She looks no worse for wear."

"Huh?" John looked over his shoulder, expecting to see Moira but it was Ann who was in line, getting some food. "Oh." He turned back to resume eating, disappointed. "Not Ann."

"Huh? Not…" Rodney glanced up to see the lovely major chatting with another woman, as if she didn't have a care in the world. He looked at John. "Then who? Wait, you're not with Ann anymore?" he asked, surprised.

"Nope." John frowned, knowing he had to break up with Ann, but he had to find the right time and the right place. He had thought that after having sex with Moira that would be it, it would be over whatever it was. But the memories were teasing him and he realized it wasn't over quite yet. He was anxious to see her again, not only to see her but to have her again.

He pondered if it was more than the sex.

"But you…huh. When did you decide to—"

"Awhile."

"Who is the—"

"Tell ya later. Can I finish my breakfast now?"

"Can you? That's a lot of food."

"I'll do my best. In fact I did…repeatedly," he added slyly.

Rodney groaned and held up a hand. "Spare me the details, please!"

"You asked."

"Pretend that I didn't. And I certainly didn't ask about that!"

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Moira entered the cafeteria long enough to grab a bottle of water. She appeared distracted, flustered and desirable. Her brown hair was a messy spill around her shoulders and her white lab coat concealed her clothing and her curves. She was both serious and smiling at the same time, as she made her way down the line to grab a quick meal and a bottle of water. She bumped into someone and apologized.

John smiled. She was lost in a world of her own, lost in erotic memories he was certain. She was thinking about him and he felt a smug satisfaction at that. He watched her hasten along, the prim paleontologist, the serious scientist but John knew better now. He knew the passionate woman she could be, she had been with him. He shifted in his chair at the memories and tracked her across the room, watching her exit without having seen him.

"Damn," he muttered as his body was reacting to her even though she hadn't seen him. John wanted her again. He wanted her now, even after the passionate excesses of the evening. He wanted her in ways that he had never wanted Ann.

"What's wrong?" Rodney asked.

"Nothing. I just thought I was…never mind." He stood, moving round the table.

"John? John, wait, I need to talk to you!" Ann demanded, detaining him with a hand on his arm. "Where were you last night? You, you weren't in your room," she observed, her voice dropping as she tried to guide him to a more secluded section of the cafeteria.

"No, I wasn't," he agreed quietly, meeting her gaze. At that moment he didn't care if he hurt her or not. She was an obstacle to get round so he could get to Moira. His Moira.

"I…you were working, weren't you? You were connecting to the city again?" she accused, but there was fragility to her voice as if she suspected but was afraid to say the words.

"I was connecting…but not to the city." He freed his arm. "We'll talk later, all right? I don't have time right now. Sorry." But he stopped and walked back to her. This wasn't the best place to do this, or the best time, but John wanted it over with and he wanted to avoid any messy complications. He hated messy complication. "Um…Ann…I'm sorry. It's over."

Ann stared at him. It wasn't a surprise, not really, but still she was shocked. "What?"

"Sorry. It's not you, it's me," John said lamely, fidgeting and wishing he was anywhere else. No, not anywhere else. He knew exactly where he wanted to be. "Sorry," he added gruffly.

"John!" Ann protested, but the military commander was striding out of the cafeteria as if he was on a mission, which in fact he was.

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Moira was standing at her work station, lost in thought. She felt giddy and worried at the same time. She couldn't work. The screen was displaying a full analysis but she couldn't concentrate on it. Instead her mind kept revolving on the previous evening she had spent with the military commander. It had been the most passionate and erotic evening of her life, and she was still dazzled by it.

She had never spent the entire evening engaged in sex, and certainly not sex like that!

She had woken up alone in her bed, and that worried her. She didn't know if that was it. If all that John had wanted was the sex, and she pondered this, pondered this odd relationship they had which so far wasn't really a relationship. Hearing a footstep she nearly jumped and touched the keyboard as if working. "I'm just bringing it up now."

"Yes, you are."

"John?" She whirled in surprise, wonder. The lab was empty. John was walking towards her, swaggering as he was undoing his belt. He undid his pants as he reached her, smiling. "John?" she repeated, startled by his actions. She tried not to look at the obvious reaction in his pants.

"Door's locked, Moira. No one's getting in…except me."

She scowled at him. "John! You…is this just your way to see what color I have on today?"

"Yes." His gaze roved over her. "Turn around and get naked, baby, but leave the lab coat. For some reason that is turning me on. And clear that counter, okay? We're gonna need it as well." He raised his brows, smiled and unzipped his pants.

Moira smiled.

She just smiled.

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_He was evasive, distant. He looked like he wanted to get away from me, but I saw no guilt, only a brewing annoyance that I was detaining him from something. Or someone. _

_I didn't believe him. I thought he was connecting to the city on his own again, against doctor's orders, against common sense, except he wasn't exhibiting any of the signs. He didn't seem to be having a headache. In fact he appeared more vibrant, more virile, and he was smiling more than he had in nearly a month. _

_Something had changed and I couldn't figure out what had happened to him._

_Or who._

_And then he said the words I had been dreading. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't understand it. He was breaking up with me, for no reason. He gave no reason and hardly said much at all. Before I could protest or react he walked away from me, and I stood there like an idiot staring after him, trying to decide if it was really over or not._

_I hated to believe it, much less say it, so I acquiesced and let him go. I would have to corner him later, I knew. I was determined to get some straight answers from him, and work through this thing, whatever it was. There was no way we were breaking up. Not without a reason._

_I wouldn't let him go without a fight._


	5. Chapter 5

Stargate Atlantis: Heart's Bane5

The alarm drew John's attention only after they had finished and he quickly zipped up his pants as he turned and tapped his earpiece. "This is Sheppard. What's the—"

"There's been an explosion in the physics lab, but no one is hurt," assured the voice of Richard Woolsey. "Damage has been contained. Are you—"

"On my way. Sheppard out." He tapped the earpiece again and smiled as a hand snaked up his back. He turned to see Moira watching him. She had pulled on her white lab coat over her disheveled clothing.

"John?"

He shrugged. "Some kind of explosion in the physics lab, but everyone's okay. Gotta go." He kissed her, began to leave, stopped and returned to her. He pulled her into his arms, kissing her again. "Moira," he said into her ear, "you best get that table back together before Simmons sees that mess."

"John!" she scolded at his laugh. She glanced to see the mess on the table. Books had been knocked over, folders were losing their contents and the monitor was in danger of falling. She giggled and met his gaze. "Naughty, naughty colonel."

John grinned. "Don't start that, baby, or I may have to deploy again. See ya." He kissed her once more then quickly headed for the door. He unlocked it and shoved past a group of scientists who were discussing how to get past the lock, seemingly baffled. He smirked, imagining Moira's consternation and wondered how she would explain why the lab was locked for nearly half an hour.

He hoped she would be very, very angry with him that evening.

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The physics lab was a mess. The container that had held the alien weapon was completely destroyed. The Plexiglas had melted into a vitreous mass that coated the floor and the table on which the container had stood. Scorch marks discolored the floor and the wall.

What was left of the weapon was lying by the wall. It was little more than a melted lump of metal and wires now, useless and inert but Rodney was kneeling next to it, prodding it with the tip of a pencil like some forensic scientist.

"Is that wise?" Radek asked, shrugging off the attentions of Carson. His hands were bruised but the gloves had protected him from the worst of the implosion.

"I know what I'm doing!" Rodney flared.

"What happened? What the hell happened?" John demanded, shoving past marines and Richard to stand near the mess. He stared at his friend as Rodney was prodding the remains. "Is that wise?"

"Is there an echo in here? Yes, it's dead now! Apparently Einstein there triggered an automated self-destruct on this thing before I could finish a full spectral scan," Rodney griped.

"There was no indication of anything like that, and there was no power," Radek defended, more embarrassed at his mistake than concerned about any collateral damage.

"Is it still useable?" John asked. He nodded and the marines dispersed, now that the threat had been eliminated and the alarm had been silenced. Ann remained, however, her gaze studying John. He appeared more disheveled than normal, and very relaxed.

"Oh sure, if you want it as a doorstop! Of course it's not useable! It's toast! It's…oh…you mean the circuitry?"

"Um, yeah, that's what I meant," John agreed with a smile and shrug. Richard shook his head, amused.

"Yes. I can salvage what's here and maybe, just maybe trace the signaling and maybe, just maybe find the frequency." Rodney looked at his friend. "My God, John, that's brilliant!"

"Yeah, I know. What is, again?"

"If we can trace the frequency of this weapon we might, just might be able to create a code that jams that signal that could interfere with their weaponry! Mind you it wouldn't stop their weapons but it could divert them off-course long enough for—"

"Us to intercept and maybe, just maybe inflict some of our own damage," John finished for him. "Get to work on that ASAP! We need to move up our timetable."

"We do?" Richard asked.

"Yes. I am taking my team to Turn…" he paused, expecting a flare of pain, but nothing happened. John suddenly realized that he hadn't been feeling the city as much as he had been. It was still there, a presence that reacted to him but it was more in the background, not as interfering or as connected and he wondered why. With a smile he realized it might have to do with his current preoccupation.

"John? You mean you are going to that city you discovered?" Richard asked.

"Yes." John met his gaze, nodded. "Tomorrow, in fact. I'll draw up a mission roster but I don't expect to be gone that long." The two men began to leave the lab. "In any event Reynolds will be in charge while I am gone. Keep everyone in the city for now, no running of any missions unless absolutely necessary."

"John! John, wait!"

John inwardly sighed and stopped in the hallway. He had been dreading this. He turned, watching as Ann approached. Consternation marred her lovely face. "Look, I don't have time for—"

"Then you will make time, damn it!" There were tears in her blue eyes. "John, what happened? Everything was fine between us! I know you've been under tremendous pressure and I know you have had a lot on your mind. There's no need to take any drastic measures. We can work out whatever this is and—"

"No. It's over, Ann. I'm sorry. I never should have let it get this far, not when I was…"

"You were what? John?" She placed her hands on her hips, standing to block him from getting away from her. "John? What aren't you trying to say to me? Is…is there someone else?" He glanced past her, silent, hating this, hating all of this even though he had brought it onto himself. "Is that it? You…you've met someone else? You…you are in love with someone else? You were in love with someone else the whole…"

John wanted to squirm but he scowled. "Yeah. You want the truth, Ann? You were just a way station until I realized what I really wanted, what I really needed, and sorry, but you weren't the one. It was nice between us, it was pleasant but it just wasn't enough. It wasn't what I wanted, what I needed, what I need, okay?"

"No! It is not okay! What do you need? How could you string me along like that?" More tears were spilling out of her blue eyes as his cruel words, although honest were still striking like slaps and spoiling everything she had believed about their relationship. Suddenly everything she had thought seemed to have been an illusion.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to, it just sorta happened while I was…look, it's me, not you, okay? It's over. I've got a lot to do so let's just move on." He stepped round her, pushing her hand off his arm as she tried to detain him.

"John! John, no! It can't end like this! It just can't! This doesn't make sense! John, please! Please!" she cried, watching him stride down the hallway and out of her life.

But not out of her heart.

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It was getting late. A wind was whipping around Atlantis, stirring up the waves into a frothing frenzy. The violence lashed the pier, washing it with cold, cold ocean water and roiling underneath the city like a furious monster. The city rocked a little, but the stabilizers kept it in place and mostly unmoving.

Nevertheless Moira's footsteps seemed to rock with the ocean as she made her way down the darkened hallway. She entered her room and froze. There was a man lying on her bed, his feet planted on the floor, knees bent. Recognizing him she relaxed and stepped closer. "John?"

She sat on the bed, touched his arm. John was covering his face with his hands. At her touch he moved them to his waist as he eyed her. He appeared tired, sullen. Stubble lined his jaw and he appeared dangerous and sexy. "John? What's wrong?" she asked, scooting closer. She ran her fingers through his disordered hair, wondering if he was having another headache.

John grunted, watching her. He lost himself in her brown eyes which were full of concern and worry and love. All of it was for him and he let it wash over him, absolve him. "I did it. Ended it," he said gruffly, but he appeared relieved.

"Oh." Moira didn't know what to say.

John closed his eyes as her fingers played in his hair and the wind moaned at the window. "I ended it with Ann," he needlessly clarified.

"Oh," Moira repeated, at a loss. She swallowed nervously, both worried and elated. After all, he had ended it with Ann to be with her. She still couldn't quite believe this man, the most handsome man she had ever seen had dumped a beautiful, accomplished woman for her, a plain paleontologist who preferred science to people. Well, most people. She smiled briefly.

"Messy," he said, voice slurring a little as the beers he had imbibed were creating a pleasant yet disconcerting buzz. "Hate messy. All that emotion, talking crap. You know? Doesn't matter now. You're with me, Moira. Right?" He opened his eyes to look at her.

"Yes, John, I'm with you," she confirmed. Her heart was pounding, pounding.

"Kiss me."

She leaned close and brushed her lips across his. He pulled her into a deeper kiss, opening her mouth to his as one hand snaked up to enclose a breast. He pulled her down onto him, scooting them both up, up the bed to the pillows. "John?" she asked, squirming but he held her on top of him, settling on what had to be the most comfortable bed in Atlantis.

Not only did he get the girl he got the bed as well. He snorted with amusement.

"We're fine, Moy. Together now. God I love this bed," he muttered happily. He stroked her back slowly. "Just a nap, okay? Then sex. Give me five, no six. I'm staying here tonight, with my Moira," he muttered as he closed his eyes. He was snoring almost immediately.

Moira smiled, snuggling on him after kissing him. "Okay, John. It will be all right. It will be fine, I promise." She stared at the darkness, content, elated but wondering if it would be all right.

The lights flickered and the wind sighed against the window.

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_I stood in my room, alone, watching the storm as it approached Atlantis. The wind was stirring up the waves to a frenzy and it was screeching around the city like a living thing. _

_It mirrored my own tangled emotions._

_I tried not to weep, but tears were in my eyes and I couldn't help but wonder where John was. He wasn't in his room. He was probably with this other woman, whoever she was. The thought of them together, snuggled against the storm made my stomach turn but I refused to give in to more sorrow._

_I would find a way to get him back. I would find a way to make him realize that I was the one he wanted. I would make him see that we belonged together, and that this woman, whoever she was, was merely a passing interest, nothing more._

_I would make him see. I would!_

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If anyone had been listening, really listening beyond the noises of the storm they would have heard the strangest sound, a sound that wasn't human although it evoked human emotions and sentiments. It was a sound that once heard would never be forgotten.

They would have heard the city quietly laughing.


End file.
